I thought to say Happy Christmas and to spread some lovely horsey gems, I would share some excerpts from Carolyn Resnicks book Naked liberty and some quotes from her.
There will be one each day, starting on the 12th and before new year there will be a draw.
To win you need to comment ( not just like) on any or all posts, the more you comment the more chances to win!
The person drawn will receive a free place on any of my Introduction to the Waterhole Rituals days next year. We look forward to your comments. Merry Christmas.
On the seventh day of Christmas.
” Don’t let focus on performance get in the way of the relationship “
jaynedforster.wordpress.com 
I’m thinking how challenging this idea is. Seems a no-brainer in relation to horses, but I’m thinking how hard this is to follow in ‘ordinary life’. At the level of e.g. waiting at the post office and wishing the person in front was not wasting (my) time by fumbling with her purse whilst chatting merrily to the counter assistant, or the wish for the kids to hurry up and be ready for their bus and being ‘sharp’ with them in irritation, because being ‘on time’ is more important, or …. well there are so many possible places where ‘performance’ seems at the time, more important than ‘relationship’ that I am wondering how on earth one can ever live a life in this society and still prioretise (all) relationships?! Hey but wouldn’t it be a wonderful world if we did so. .. and a ‘very’ different world, it would be organised very differently I think. Otherwise I’m thinking chaos would ensue. Anarchy as I understand its ideology, is a great idea imo.. and that seems rather to be more in line with the quote perhaps?
Time for me to re=fresh my mind about the ideology of Anarchy methinks 🙂
At this point in my rambling I realise she does not say ‘prioretise’ she says ‘get in the way of’.. a very different kettle of fish … oh well.I’ll blame my mis-reading on the very pale type of the blog which is incredibly difficult to see ….that’s my story and I’m sticking to it haha.
The fun of the dance is the creating and learning of it. True partnership is surely a harmonic performance in itself without the need for audiences or praise from others.
This resonates with me, Helen.. yes, I find myelf over and over again judging myself on my ‘performance’ (whatever aspect of life l however mundane) when in truth, that feels like so much pressure on myself and is really just a ‘throwback’ to schooling and the society’s concerns with winning and losing, and the ‘final event (ie the Olympics, or the Exam, or the Party, even that old thing the Horse Show in its many forms!. And that makes it so hard to take time with the very process that you call the dance.. the creating and learning. I recall how how hard it is to put aside the introjected sense of being judged on performance.. and even being watched by others can trigger this .. Yet. there is really no such thing, is there, as a ‘final performance’….. the moment something is out of Present Time, it’s a dead thing… so a performer needs to be in the Zone. Yet as onlookers there is often the sense of ‘only the show counts’. What a bewildering world we are in. The tree has no ‘performance’ . The dance is all the time.. Or.. as you say, the harmonic performance is in the partnership itself, and is not done ‘for others’ it’s done for its own sake, and for pure fun. I see this in Stacey Westfeld and so many others. It’s hard to find a way to write here that isn’t either too much about my own opinions, but is also not anything *but* my own truth or explorations. I’m trying to avoid making ‘statements’ about ‘how things are’ because the there is no such thing! I love hearing the vulnerabily of others — and the horses lead the way, don’t they in their authentic expression of their personal truth. Hoorah for such blessings and for the dance of the Moment!
Personal truth from our horses about how they feel in that moment yes ! They tell us without worry of offending, how they feel. We must try not to judge them or ourselves or be offended. The art is to listen.
Love your comment,Helen and yes this is very true. It feels to me that when you care for the quality of the relationship, the performance is natural, easy and harmonic and needs no audience it comes just because it feels good to both partners.